Dear blog,
Currently at ACTA course attending my CU5…
Went to gym two days ago at True Fitness @ Djitsun Mall AMK =) Okay lar, ended up with someone~
Hmmm mind is going quite crazy on me =(
I sometimes don’t know whether to interpret it as hope or hopeless. I know what i want though, but the more i give space the greater the distance. Yet the more i want close, the tighter the tension. I give or take or do nothing also not easy…
Still waiting for the day…
Dear blog,
I am really at a lost of words…
What do I want, and what can i expect in the future?
Nevermind la since i’m useless and a burden anyways :(
No point me doing anything as it’s useless…
Dear blog,
Right now, i am rushing on my Final Assessment for my ACTA CU4a module tomorrow. It requires some assignments done up, presentation (free topic), demonstration, as well as a cast-study to it. Urgh, have yet to crack my brains on those and it is already 2140?!?
Anyways I should stop emo-ing, all the negative energy on facebook. I decided to direct it here instead…
So it started off again, and from the looks of it, sooner or later it’s gonna go bad again. I know cause it’s like I can never get enough out of it. And i the worse part is i do not know how to make it better. Impossible? I do not know. It is like fate playing a horrible prank on me.
All the words, i don’t know how to take them word for word. I need to control my emotions better. Need to seek other place to vent my frustration and yearn of attention. Because i know it is like a dead end here. I used to embrace it alot, enjoy every moment. Now i am so insecure, cause one moment something can be said, and the next day is a completely different attitude.
I longed for something more.
I kept losing myself. Don’t know my feelings or my thoughts anymore. Each nightmare worsens my sanity. I am going to lose myself once more.
Can I be of a choice?
I hate my heart, my soul, my body.
I am not appreciated for my love… my love.
GoodNight Bear: “Had a wonderful time with master Paul!”
hehe so today was my first weekday offday! Wooooo~ Yaar life as a first aid trainer is no walk in the park! Sooooo many things that they do most people oversee~
Anyways what i did today >>>
So see, all these while GN bear was sitting at the top of my bag watching everything :) Hmmm like me, even though sometimes you can’t see me, i’m still at the back and the top of all the things you carry, watching after you but i know the only thing you feel is the extra weight that i’m there for. No matter, one day you would appreciate the thoughts that i pour out everyday of my life since then~
Dear blog,
I seriously do not know what’s going on in other people’s mind even though how much i try and try and try. What do I do now? Which path should i take?
It might take 8 months to undo a process, but only a night to ignite it all
I know what everybody else would say and is saying to me. But they are not me and they will not understand the thoughts and feelings that i go through…
But even if there’s a chance, i’d take it. I saw the words, i read it as hope… and cherish every moment left
Dear blog,
Gonna make this a quick and short one!
Weee! My paddle came in today during training, and i got to use my 49” baby for its virgin ride :P Training as usual, sea training and then land training, with both of the training killing me. Running has never been my forte…
What i’m doing now is reading up on my ACTA course on CU1 Interpret the Singapore Workforce Skills Qualifications Framework. It’s like a lot of general info about WSQ and stuff. Hope can i would able to perform during my time slot from 1000-1030 >.<
Alright, no time to procrastinate le! Go go go me to do work~
I am not going to even batter an eyelid on this. I’m sure your life would be equally or even much better of without me :)
Dear blog
Things on my mind right now~
Too much thinking is bad for me says piglet =X
Well right now i wanna get a watch 1st. By the way there’s a list of things in chronological order that i’ll need to get. Where got money =(
Signing out
Dear blog
Clovey looking at Mr Whale from above…
Today was a draggy day at work. Hey i’m coming to the start of week 3 ler! Confirmation of job at the end of week 4. Then again, it’s time for self-reflection for the job. TBH, i’m not quite liking the job, me in fact not learning much skills. All i’ve done so far was to fold clothes basically. Here and there my full-time colleagues would chip in a bit of knowledge to help me better perform. Even so, my supervisor have been very helpful. Can feel that she is the type to go to her employees’ level and comprehend their situation.
Rushed to work today > Got no lunch > Forgot to fill water bottle > Tolerated till 1730 before dinner break. By then i was semi-conscious. Thankfully for an IOT to EAMG halfway, i joined the Youth festival happenings at Taka fountain and manage to get a free Mountain Dew drink! Woots =D
After work was great to chill at Javier’s for a scrumptious meal =) Hanged out with friends awhile before cabbing back… That’s the Saturday life man! Hee hee.
Thanks for everything. Time is something we can only spend on each other and receive it from each other when we do.
Signing out
Dear blog
I wonder will i ever get it right?
The expectations that i want i need.
Always aim low.
Ha ha :D Nice 1.
Guess some things never change.
Signing out
Dear blog
Today was the day i went for the 1st (i hope not last) round of interview by the SCDF!
Let’s see here, gonna give u a summary of the day~
Woke up slightly late, no worries. Got everything planned by Google Map =)
My route was MRT –> CCK –> Bus –> CDA
Couldn’t find the bus stop for 172 in time so reached CDA slightly late also.
In e end reached there with a few of them there registering. Me with a herd mentality, follow.
Overall there was a role play to see whether you can manage as a Paramedic for a troubled driver, mopp up to run 300m and situps, balancing in ambulence and transferring objects (easy), and loading casualty on stretcher and managing it (super easy).
Yeah i saw Roger today as a RCC! Ha ha he looked so adorable and short (weird to call older people that, but i really find him that). And then two of the candidates were my bmt mates! Ha ha small world after all =)
Dammit, the phone went dead though =( Well rushed home and had dinner. Now just chilling and resting~
Dear blog
Now i’m starting to think about my future. blood. How will it turn out? I want to join the Paramedics, and they have given me a chance. 30th March there will be a simulation at some location for the job. I heard that the intake is only twice a year and one of them is June. June?!? That’s when i’ll ORD. Woah, i really really hope that i can get this job on the dot so that the lack of income would only be a month >.<
Went to had Macs for breakies with Small Bao today =) Long time no eat le! They got some promo chicken breakfast deluxe set thingy~ (couldn’t get the right pic though) And yes, though it was short, it was really meaningful for me and i hope for you too!
<3 my Small Bao~
Ha ha randomz… So what’s up for me? 
Haven’t been sleeping well. Ended up like the baby over there <<<<
Did my 2nd extra for the WOS offence. Man! 24hour Guard3 is no kidding! Toughness challenged.
OMG i still can’t find my diploma cert! I wonder where i left it. Grrr i should have done this earlier =( Poor me… Oh well, got to book in soon le, here goes nothing…
Signing out
Dear blog
Went for the SCDF career fair just few days back. Shocked to see my god bro Roger in the news! Awesome yo~
Yes i am interested to become a paramedic like him, or like he was anyways. I heard he’s going up the ranking ladder, now already an OCT liao~ Another hi-5 for you kor!
For some reason, i seem to always have split decisions and split personalities. Don’t know what i want exactly. I guess i need to just simmer down (and slim down). Enjoy things as they come. Be more simple and less jumpy to conclusions.
RAWR, i need more time~ NS has taken its toll on me. My eye bags are ever grey, body ever aching and head ever spinning =(
I need somebody to lean on. Ha ha, lean on. I think i just might squish that person xD Ha ha.
Oh time for me to go sing ler… hopefully things go as according to plan ba >.<
Sorry bloggie, wont be able to attend to you in awhile!
Signing out
Dear blog
I keep blogging at the weirdest time! Ha ha, it’s already 2200 on a Sunday and i still can be bothered to blog (considering what had happened over the week).
It is coming to the end of the Medic course (soon). And these 2 weeks are like instructors’ hell week. At least for me =(
I still enjoyed the Potluck held at Dhaslie’s place that sunday 190212 :) Learnt a lot of stuff even though the fun was short-lived.
My Birthday is coming soon on 4th April, but i’m celebrating on the 7th instead. Since the course would pass out on the 5th April (Thurs) and i’m sure i won’t be able to get a off on that day as well.
I hate this NS life more and more. I want to enter my ORD Mode, oh when will that be??? RAWRz!!!
Life has been so much interesting ever since 8months ago… Let’s move on together~
Signing out
Dear blog
Da picture of the Moon~
Recently been quite emotional due to camp stress. Guess nobody else would understand what we have to go thru. But ultimately, i’m gonna become a SCDF Paramedic, that’s why i’m more rev up then anybody else in terms of lessons. These few weekends also i have not been spending enough time by myself- Friday WOS and Sunday CDI. Sigh >.< I hope my body won’t fail me.
Need to work out more also! My IPPT taking with Abu, Issac, and Helmi would be on early March! Would need to get that silver =)
Heh getting late le, need to book my kids in!
I’m really happy that i’m starting to get missed. Was really glad this started and continued for this long, we both learnt alot from each other and ourselves :)
Even though i was quite upset on a few stuff (i guess it’s my fault) nevertheless, i’ll continue to work hard and strive because i want to be somebody that you can be proud of!
I hope things turn for the better in the near future despite me predicting some real tough times…
Got to run~
Signing out
Dear blog
Super excited about this- having my lappy over at Batam. A hotel called Goodway Hotel. The place doesn’t seem half as bad as others =) Reached Batam at 1520 (batam time which is 1620 Singapore time) and was welcomed by our uncle.
We checked in around later to Goodway Hotel and our cousins and aunt were waiting for us. The first program of the day was my maid having fellowship with her people and then we children went to the pool.
And then went out to having our dinner at the same place as last years’ (fyi, my family have been coming over to Batam to visit my uncle for countless years). Not to say that dinner was bad, it was actually quite fulfilling. And it cost like $10++ per person?
It was pretty smart to get bee hoon though. And that’s my cute cousin Haiqal behind the steamboat. Heard that he has quite good grades =D kudos for u!
There were fireworks, and i was thinking about you all the time. Really.
We came back and was lead to the gym as suggested by mom. And in the end we played table tennis. It was pretty nice to be able to work out my body and sweat it out abit. Though i could do less for stinky.
Yup nothing much to add le, it’s only the first day. Much more to expect.
Thanks dad for making Milo for us! We appreciate it much~
Now all sleeping le, i guess i better turn in soon, lest they nag at me xD
Life has been a lot of adventure ever since you came on board. I was lucky u did…
Dear blog
Went to watch Jack and Jill today. It was pretty good, typical Adam Sandler Film =D
Learnt a lot about accepting others, especially people close to you, who they are and not judge them by their past, or from our experiences.
Sneezy day again for me. Spaming my tissues like no tomorrow though i need save a lot tomorrow and enjoying my time with lappy.
Money has become of an issue to me. I wonder… Already committed myself to spend as little as i can in camp and use the money for better purposes =D
