Dear blog

Oh yeah, i kinda double post today. Or rather Monday 5th Jan... I'm probably more "unstable" at night, so bear with me.

Blogz...
One of the more usual communication channels for me. Through it, i can understand what another's thinking at that point of time. Through it, i could somewhat feel and "hear" what the other person trying to say in which he/she might not normally say it face to face. The thoughts of the blogger runs in the blog, every single detail, background, font, choice of colour and even the position of gadgets brings out the very essence of this blogger. You can see that i'm rather boring and simple =X Ha ha.

Where i am now?
Close your eyes and imagine... (okay i can't come up with anything better at this hour)
I'm walking on top of this small narrow dam. The route is so narrow it'll only fit the width of my both legs at any one time. On my left is the tranquil and peaceful reservior, on my right would be the steep downslope of moutainous terrains (pertruding rocks and wild animals). If i fall to my left, i would drown in the deep waters. If i fall to my right, i would roll down the hill. Either way, i can't see the end.

I thought you would have changed. I guess hate doesn't dissolve in time, in fact, might even grow along with it. Love is otherwise. I wondered what sparked that glimpse of hope in me to bluff myself that you've forgiven me. I don't ask for much, just to rid away those obsession i had, it's bugging me every single night.

To 瑞:
Although it may seem that i'm using you. I really don't know if i am. Probably using you to fill this void created previously. Now a part of me can't bear to leave you, the other can't bear to lose you. I've already lost half my heart previously, to experience this hatred, this familiar hatred is like a poison to my other half. Just slowly but surely withering. Hope is all i can give myself to suppress, and self-deceivement a drug to my soul. I might be overly-dependent on those. I might not be able to be sensitive to feel anymore. Yes i am a selfish bastard, even D said it before (alot). Are you sure you want me again i ask? No, don't answer so fast, think again. I'll cheat you more, i'll use you, i'll make you suffer, i'll make you experience pain in your heart you'll never overcome. Think... i don't want to implement pain in you anymore.

Signing out