Dear blog

Come on Paul. You're much better than this... You know what you should do.
But human minds are so hard to comprehend?
Then, do what you must. We were never of the Earth anyways. Shouldn't get too attached to it. Cause you know one day you need to leave it all.
Alrights. I understand, but that 8 years i'm left to live with, i don't know how many times or how happy i can be.
Face it, you don't know anything about humans or any of their culture. You're an outcast.
Yes, an outcast.
An outcast it is...

I always wondered. Why was i the only one left out when school lecturers asked for groups to be formed. Why was i the only one left behind in my secondary school friends' birthday party. Why was i the only one left out from friends that i trust with my life with. Why doesn't anyone else think like me?
Why am i me? Do i like torture? Do i like to be tortured?

No. I still have this gentle burning flame within me. This just another phase of my life. I need someone who i can depend on don't say no Someone to lean don't move away Someone whom i can turn to don't avoid me Someone who smiles at me don't give a frown Someone that would lick an ice-cream cone together with me don't hold back.

Someone that i had, i thought.

Dad was right. Jealousy starts to kick in. I know why. But i can't stop it. I'll just have to bear with it myself, while you just ignore and think you know what's best.

Signing out