Burp… sigh.

Dear blog

Yeah yesterday (23rd Aug) was my sis birthday. Realized that many people’s birthday also fall on the same date. So on this Sunday, family decided to go have a dinner celebrate at nearby kopitiam!

There’s my mom, grace and dad in front. Bro was just beside me…

 

… posing as our LAH brothers =) Ha ha. Matching shirt o.o

 

Soon after, as it was a Sunday, i made my way via bus to Newton Hawker Centre. It was rather late and i reached there with this kind of light. Ha ha. Sure enough, i missed like most of the Ramadan crowd from 6pm to 7pm de.

 

So most of the time afterwards was just sitting and lazing around… Here’s a picture of me Sian 1/2. Ha ha xD Was a bit pissed off though, but it’s alright le.

 

And remember somebody’s sexy leg pic, i decided to take one of my own. Well, ern, it’s not really anything. Ha ha, guess I've got to work on them? Love those toned and tanned legs eh =D

Sigh, tomorrow is the commencement of my first paper- Proteomics. It’s rather difficult, comprising of 5 SAQ and 2 essays. Hopefully i need to bear through this. There are unbelievable things to memorize and my brain seems so cramped. Not to mention being reminded of a long hopefully forgotten hatred. Apparently, it never did. Seems like either i die or if that person goes back to overseas permanently then will be at peace, since there’ll be no more chance of seeing each other so qiao. I’m not emo-ing, just thinking of the lessons that were taught to me, did i apply them? I’m more like thinking of the experiences, mostly happy ones for some weird reason, happy memories keep flushing in my head and sanitizing all my forced hatred and ignorance. In the end, i still hope that we can just sit to have a light conversation over a cuppa of some sort and smile.

Leaving on Wednesday le… Sigh, i still remembered the excitement that i felt, the anticipation of your return every single day. Ha ha. Oops. Okay shoo shoo! I need to be strong. And i need to appreciate my friends more.

And why do i feel so trapped in time? I could think of all the feelings that i felt and the desires that we had. Some reason, the phrase “getting over” somebody is used very loosely.  I believe to “get over” a person is to neutralize all thoughts and experience relating from you to that person and returning all emotions back to where it belongs. At the same time refreshing oneself to feel anew again. I feel it’s so difficult to manage, even though what i do or what i don’t do now it doesn’t make a difference to either.

It’s too late to change anything… It’s too late to change anything now…

How i wish i knew what could please, what could just appease that anger. I thought it was gone over these past few months, but it’s just lingering there waiting to aggressively defend itself whenever provoked. SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! What does a competitive guy does? I am afraid to lose, i am really afraid to lose still. To lose anything, to lose anybody.

Argh! Talking to myself again… Proteomics. Focus focus… Give me an answer from heaven, how do i keep that person yet be at peace for both? *looks with droopy eyes*

Dam irritating and lor soh sia me. *ah chew*

Signing out