Just a timely reminder to me, myself and I...

There is a time and place to do everything. Now i just think of those times, i just wondered how did i felt? I forgot my feelings. Or did i just ignore mine? All i think now is just...

Hmmm. I figured that most of the time i am (was) over-sensitive, i guess it's also because of my circumstances and problems i'm facing both family and friends. Like every single action or even a simple leave-me-alone gesture was like slashing me with a glass coated blade. Yeah, i can do soul-searching and try to decieve myself. You can only go this far with yourself you know. I've tried cheating myself. Now i'm gonna try isolation. But i think the latter would kill me inside out first. If i don't die of physical pain, i'm gonna die of mental stress and blockage.

Ha ha. Emotions, who need them. I wish i could have a switch to just turn them (emotions) off whenever i feel like this. It's just really really painful. I want to go to a corner and cry. But a part of me just slaps myself and ridicule me pathetic. The third person me agrees. So what am i to do? Give me some strength, i have nothing left within me. All is and was used up already. I can't face another day like this. I want to sleep. A long peaceful sleep where everything is happy and joyful.
There goes my fourth self. Of being selfish. Geez, so many personalities within one person is hard to manage yeah? I've managed to suppress my former self for 4 weeks. I don't know how much longer can this facade endure. It's cracking... I'm breaking...

Mmmm, i guess since my soul and spirit are in ruins. I should at least save my body. Okay, off to do some activity to distract myself. And don't worry, i won't do anything stupid. One cause i'd gave my word. Two cause you won't give a damn...

Signing out