Dear readers…

A dark road. A blurred route. Will i find my way to the end? Will i even manage to pass through this road of horror. I don't know where i'm heading. But you told me to just move forward, just move forward. I shall take the leap of faith and trust in you.

Yesterday was Ben & Jerry’s free cone day. That comes once in a year. Whoosh! There it goes, another 364 days more for the next free cone day =P Yeah, so I’m going to post about the queuing for the ice-cream. Signboard reminds me of some kindergarden school -.-

As usual and as you would have guessed. Singaporeans are typically kiasu (means scared of losing) or trying to make the most out of something. Hence, the super long queue that took almost 25min to resolve. Any other day it would be deserted, but yesterday was crowded till it was hard to not step person in front and behind of you. Yeah, that happened to me. Was embarrassed, I accidentally step on the person in front of me for like 4 times in the entire queue. Then on the fourth time, where I could smell the essence of ice cream, he suddenly turned around, stare at me. I didn’t dare to look at him, fortunately he was understand and said “slow down boy, don’t need to rush!” with a smile. That somehow lifted my spirits, weird right me.

Hey look there. Kah hong, Xiu hui and Yi Tian all manage to cut the queue -.-“ But I didn’t, I was a good boy =) hehe. Eeee still can pose for the camera...

No price for guessing who’s that funny guy who missed the queue with us as he came from Yishun when we were already at Toa Payoh. Lol. Yeah, at least I gave him a taste of New York, the flavour that I chose. Nice and chunky =) Just like me. Lol. Wait, that sounded abit wrong. Ooo, nvm...

Oh, afterwards very shortly. We proceeded to the food court just below and had our dinner. I ordered Mee Rubus (malay), Yi Tian ordered some set meal with meat and side dish (Korean), Xiu Hui ordered a Japanese set meal, while Ping Ding, Nicholas and Kah Hong all got baked rice (Western). Talk about a nice spread. Ha ha. But the food was pretty expensive. Mine alone cost $3.60 !!! Could have gotten one more plate at a regular hawker centre.

Signing out

Just a timely reminder to me, myself and I...

There is a time and place to do everything. Now i just think of those times, i just wondered how did i felt? I forgot my feelings. Or did i just ignore mine? All i think now is just...

Hmmm. I figured that most of the time i am (was) over-sensitive, i guess it's also because of my circumstances and problems i'm facing both family and friends. Like every single action or even a simple leave-me-alone gesture was like slashing me with a glass coated blade. Yeah, i can do soul-searching and try to decieve myself. You can only go this far with yourself you know. I've tried cheating myself. Now i'm gonna try isolation. But i think the latter would kill me inside out first. If i don't die of physical pain, i'm gonna die of mental stress and blockage.

Ha ha. Emotions, who need them. I wish i could have a switch to just turn them (emotions) off whenever i feel like this. It's just really really painful. I want to go to a corner and cry. But a part of me just slaps myself and ridicule me pathetic. The third person me agrees. So what am i to do? Give me some strength, i have nothing left within me. All is and was used up already. I can't face another day like this. I want to sleep. A long peaceful sleep where everything is happy and joyful.
There goes my fourth self. Of being selfish. Geez, so many personalities within one person is hard to manage yeah? I've managed to suppress my former self for 4 weeks. I don't know how much longer can this facade endure. It's cracking... I'm breaking...

Mmmm, i guess since my soul and spirit are in ruins. I should at least save my body. Okay, off to do some activity to distract myself. And don't worry, i won't do anything stupid. One cause i'd gave my word. Two cause you won't give a damn...

Signing out

Dear readers...

Don't have those parent-children bonding times where it's just very frustrating? I guess it's hard as a parent to keep up the "maturity" of their child. Let me explain, at age 4, i don't mind holding both of my hands with them and walking clumsly on the pathway. At age 14, i do mind holding hands with them while crossing the road. Guess at 41 i'll be holding their hands instead. Lolx. Yeah, you get the point. But i'm not gonna say what they did. Ha ha.

Oh i went to cut my hair yesterday early afternoon around 12pm. Went to bishan Junction 8 bus interchange there to go to serrangoon interchange area's barber shop.

Ah. Oh yes, i took bus 53 there...

I got bored in the first 5min of the bus trip. This was what i took of the starboard (it means the right side)of the bus.

Another bus.

Junction turning left.

Bishan ITE.

A mosque and language learning centre.

Behind a swimming complex.

Ah. These two pictures were meant for the previous post where i watched Superheros. It was at Golden Village Junction 8. There were really quite alot of people there!

Okay, some emo posts 1st. Lol...

*What a weird friendship we have. For others, it's like how much a friend we can be. But to you, it's like how much i can restrict myself. Lol. I'm sure someday i'll get used to it.*

*Our communication's getting more and more dryer. I want to spice it up a bit. The problem is i don't know how far i can go, and i don't want to sink too low of being cold towards you. What a dilemma.*

*I'd a heart burn after the movie. It was like suppressed feelings. I know that i'd pissed you off. And i'm really sorry for doing that. I think i can control it better now. It won't happen that often next time. I promise.*

*And why do i feel so ignored nowadays? One moment i feel like i have the world. The next nothing. Sigh, i don't think anyone should ignore their circumstance, but instead try to make the best our of it. Instead of bearing with it, why not just change yourself? I've asked myself this question so many times as well. And i'll always think the problem lies within me.*

Well, that's all. I'll be smiling and crapping. Ha ha. See yeah!

Signing out

Yo readers

Had a wonderful time today. Yup i guess that sums it. Lol, the post can end now. Ha ha. Nah, just kidding. Morning was a drag (as usual), oh man i need to get used to it. It's already week 2! And i still having difficulty waking up 0630 in the morning to attend my "retake" modules (yes i failed a few module -.- no need stare until like that right). At least i managed to rush to school in time, but without my lecture notes. Grrrr.

Okay, some reflection cause of a dream i had yesterday. Weird right? Dreams sometimes do help you reflect on what really holds a place in your heart or life. Mines currently still in transition.

*At times i really just wanna jump on you and give you a nice warm hug. But i know it's really stupid of me. Shoo, away you stupid feeling*

*You were the best in the world. Now the only difference is that you don't belong to me anymore, i can't be selfish, no i can't be selfish. All i want is the best for you and me, wait, the world has changed to me. And you. With a full-stop in-between us.*

*You are also my benchmark for relationships, at the same time you were the best. I need someone better than the best there is... Someone better than you, so that i won't have to replace the best cause it'll always be the same.*

Oh, i went to watch Superheros today at 1930 at Junction-8 Golden Village. The movie was really awesome. I think it was based on the Movie Spiderman, the difference in plot is instead of the spider, it was the dragonfly who bit Drake (a rather popular guy in the shows nowadays). Ha ha, there were also like other heros such as the invisible woman (o.0 Pamela Anderson's looking good o.0) and the X-men. Overall a movie that you shold catch if you're in the flow of these type of comical movies =)

Signing out

Dear readers...

Just want to blog about nothing much really -.- Wahaha. Just so that whenever you click here, won't be boring and keep staring at the same pics over and over again. Hee hee.

This is the South side of NYP's fountain. Really like this senery. NYP booast it's environment as a condusive place to study and to enjoy your poly life =) Cool...

Oh that's Joe again. He seems pretty free. Hmmm, does people from SBM that free? Lol. Yar, i want to be free!!! Lol.

Oh this was during our orientation! Cool eh! Total of about 30 freshies! Oooo i do hope they join. We were playing the Mas Selamat and police. Where Su Ee picked out the Mas Selmats and polices, and we go around introducing each other. The killers would then squeeze the hand twice to kill someone. Ha ha, guess i got killed countless times that night. Geez, but we had fun and fun we had.

Oh refreshment time! The food was outside. And i was inside. Boo hoo, haha. Of course, i also went outside to eat the ham custard (errr), chocolate eclair (nice!), egg tart (flatten-.-), and seasame seed balls with some weird stuffing (errr again). At least there were communication and I got to know alot of people! Yeah man! Orientation FTW!!!

Signing out

Dear readers...

Hmmm, is it me or is blogger getting slower each passing day? I don't know.

Wow, i'm actually quite excited about the orientation + audition session VE's going to have later. Reminds me of the time when i 1st join and when i was in the committee and organising the

events. Ha ha, time really flies =)

o.0 my new yonex slippers on my feet. Ain't it swell? Ha ha, yeah it swells alright. My feet that is. Can't stand wearing it for more than 4 hours, the sides of the slippers would cause abrasion and it's just pure uncomfortable. Well, i do miss my old shoes. But as they say, the old must go and the new must come =P

I took this flower just outside my house back bus stop. Looks weird, hmmm, anyone knows whether is it poisonous? Lol.

Anyways, hopefully one day i can be completely clean with you. That's my goal, and i'm sure that you'll be working the same aim as well. Ha ha. Really hoped you enjoyed that thing i gave you. Take care yeah.

Signing out

Welcome readers!

I guess the post intervals were quite short. But nevertheless, when there's an event there's a post!

Something that i realise that i can do now: that is to abandon my feelings, throw them to aside when necessary. This is to expect anything from anyone, so that i won't feel offended/hurt or any of that sort. I find this really useful =)

Oh yeah, nic-kuku is also a very good advicer for relationship stuffs. Go find him if you need any.

Ping Ding got bored and played with the chilli that she got from the economic rice. Lol. Manga pic 1.
Mangic pic 2.
Manga pic 3. And she has done it! Oh my gosh, who would ever thought Pudding have such a sense of art. Lol. We were just having a dinner chat on Thursday after the club crawl. And had such wonderful experience with the whole VE. Hmmm, i'm trying to play an active role to draw nearer to them. Cause in the end, good friends are what stand by you. (oooooh, stand... stand by me) lalala =P

Oh, i went to meet up with joe later around 8pm. Pai sei, cause i reached there late. So he went to play pool with his friends and i just accompanied him dinner (or i watched him eat dinner). McWings, haha.

And i got myself a mochacinno of course. You can't expect Paul to sit there watching other people eat right? Oh man, i accidentally destroyed the chocolate syrup flower, anyways, it tastes just like Milo -.- What a waste of $3.80.

Yeah, i'm changing, and still am. I can't please everyone but i'll do the things that are right. So don't worry, nothing will go wrong. Ha ha. Cause it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

Signing out

Dear readers...

Now at home, using cable still cause wireless really cannot make it. Ha ha. I guess it's the start of my new life =) I'm trying to improve my relationship with all of my friends (yeah all my friends, including you lar), hope it doesn't seem too weird. Anyways, i slept late last night, playing cabal. Or rather trying to play cabal on my 512 ram lappy =.= So it was rather lag. All thanks to my good gaming friend Denny who helped me raise 2 levels from 51 -> 53, got 2 chaos lamp from finishing tiresome quests, and got 3 low upgrade core from monsters. Okay, i'm talking gaming language. Not really interesting. So back to my blog... and to the pics!

Oh, we were performing during club crawl. Couldn't find any other red T-shirts =.= so i wore the one 2 years ago national day celebration (it says there on my shirt NDC) =P

This was when we were on standby and i was bored and took a shot at the vast sports hall filled with enthusiastic club crawl peoples.

Ah, our booth. Cool right? The background is actually many scores pasted side by side each other! Of course with a black cloth support for more stablity. I just love the banner, words done by Su Ee. Goooooo VE!!! Had around 40 people signed up on our CCA, i hope more people would join tomorrow!


Yeah, and here are some random pics of some other booths. He he.

Yup, saw alot of good friends today at the booth and some friends like Denny, Shaun (although kinda dao me), Nicholas (Shaun cousin), and some other people that i don't know their names. Lol. Thanks for coming also! By the way, important highlight today was the free coke zero that was given, boo me for no pics >.<

Well, today was fun. I hope tomorrow would be better!

Signing out

Dear readers.

It's been awhile, that's what I feel. I hope i can interpret this correctly. I'm to be out of your life, you mind your business i mind mine. I really don't want this, and i hope i know you enough that you won't do this. Ha ha, and continue to be friends. I really wish this war in my heart would just stop. How?

o.0 lookie here. Ha ha, we have Denny here striking a pose outside Fish & Co. from Ang Mo Kio hub just after the orientation days. Cool NYP bag, cooler toy thingy hanging on his bag (you can just see it, it's pink).

Oh, that's ZHU BAO from VE. Ha ha, interpretation from Kah Hong. I think it means pork bun (zhu bao) =.= Yeah, i know. But once you're in VE for like 2 years. It's fun =) And everyone is close to each other. Cause... We are family! *play the song*

Oh yeah. Went with Andrew and his friend. (new to me =.=) I think his name was Jun xiong or something. Couldn't remember. I just know he was super tanned! Ha ha. We went to far east plaza at orchard just yesterday. Though it took me like 30min to find exactly where they were. Hey I can't find lucky plaza ok, ended up in far east plaza. So what the heck =P

We ate at this food outlet at level 4 i think, called Susan Chan Food. Makes no sense in english. Ha ha. I ordered fried rice with salted fish $4.00. Jun Xiong ordered Chao Zhou style fried rice $3.50. And it looks exactly the same. Wahaha. Can't tell the difference anyways. And andrew ate already =.= so much for eatting together. Ha ha.

I guess my mood has already lighten up. Cause i've found a new friend in SBM as well. Ha ha, at least can approach someone to share my feelings and stuffs ever since my last time. Anyways, he's really cool. Lol, next time probably show you who he is.

Member count: i've known 3 yr1 in SBM >.<>

Signing out

Dear readers...

Yeah i'll hug whatever that's left of me in you, or whatever left of you in me. But i'm sure the former is none. You wanted me to ignore you forever after i gave my life to you, I guess i'm being selfish again. So there goes the emo pics...

Anyways, today just got my edited time table all fixed. Sheesh, it was in a mess yesterday! At least i got my schedule fixed. Yay. I have to wake up at 0630 from Mon-Wed. Boo. Lol. And i went to PCT (Principles of Clinical Trials) lecture today with MB0601, MB0602, and MB0603. Sigh, i feel i'm so left out. Everyone has moved on, my classmates, VE people, church friends, and even you. I'm still here. Well, PCT was rather easier as it was only the first lesson. Didn't had much things to do just remembering the 4 phases of clinical trials, you get paid to be a tester, and health supplements does not go through clinical trials! How scary, oh yeah, SlimTen =.=

I'll just be signing out le. Nothing much to blog, as i don't want to think too much. My head's kinda in the unstable state. Or rather i'm trying to isolate the emotional part of my brain, and telling myself that feeling that particular is stupid. There's no future if you follow your heart, no outcome from this. And just stop hoping, like removing my soul. Now i'm almost a walking zombie, circuming to everyday lifestyle's template. Someone help me. I'm crying out.

Okie. I've just read your blog. I don't know whether you'll read mine. I'm trying to change okay? Please forgive me. It's really hard, but i'm trying not to think of you.

Signing off

Dear readers

I'm just in those kind of mood where the mind fights the heart a.k.a. emotions verse logic/worldly pressure. Have you been in this type of situation? Lol. The answer is easy to solve but hard to do. An analogy, soldiers severally wounded in battle- how would you save them? The easiest way is just to leave them die so as to end their suffering. But would you do that? Would you rather see the person die than at least try to save him 1st? Even if it's 100 or 1000 people, you would at least try your best in whatever you can help out. Now it's only one, save me.

Off to more happy stuffs. I just bought a wireless adapter yesterday at Sim Lim square for like $89! Hmmm, i wonder if it's an "ok" price for it? At least can go online! Now i'm like at home surfing net. Alright man, good job Paul =D Sigh, wait my ram is only 256 + 256. That's super slow. And ram upgrade to 512 + 512 is only $64!!! Omg. I've got to get it, ram prices dropped quite a bit already.

Hmmm, it's like 6pm already. And there's hardly anyone at Newton?!?

A falling leaf. Dead already, as it was dropped from it's source of nutrients. Once it was detach, there was no turning back. Now it just lie there, being trampled by everyone and slowly dying.

Went to mustafa the other day with my parents. And this was what i saw at the shoe section. Shoes!

Ahhh, dream shoes. Some shoes pricing were abit werid. Some expensive, some cheaper than it seems. These are like $29.90 only, those you know like hybrid shoes- suitable for many sports.

Arh, that was our basket. Yeah, and i got those slippers yo. Blue yonnex slippers on promotion. Usual price $49.90. Now $19.90. Hmmm makes you wonder why did they gave a 40% discount. Lol. I pray nothing will go wrong with slippers =P

Yeah. So now just exploring the internet nia. It's like late in my life than i can have "free" access to internet. So i'll be chatting and surfing! Surfs up dudes... chao

Signing out

Dear readers

This is gonna be a time-frame post... so bear with it =D

- 4th hour of my birthday -
Wow. This feels weird. Lol. I just help my mother helping me marinating the chicken wings at 4am in the morning. When was the last time you and your mum did something together? How did you feel when someone whom cares a lot for you is doing something with you?

So, she came home after her every night work this morning and immediately went to do the chickens. No resting, no complaining, no washing up just proceed to the kitchen and got her hands dirty. Yeah, I was there helping her to get the marinate ingredients and finishing the thawing of chicken wings. But she was the one in control and patiently massaging the chicken while I just observe her.

It was awesome seeing my mother in action. Although she’s handicapped (yes she is), she somehow manages to make our (me and my siblings) life complete, just like any other mother would. Or even better. One thing I admire about her is this fighting spirit she has and her love for her children. If I were to ever write about someone who is important, it would be my mother. Thanks mom =D

- 12th hour of my birthday –
It was really cool. As soon as I woke up around 11 plus in the morning. I went to the kitchen and I saw my mother and maid preparing the food for the BBQ. Was really touched by this (again). Love from mothers is amazing, I just can’t stop thinking about it.

They probably woke up quite early to prepare the curry chicken, looks good when I saw it. I helped out in preparing the sweet corn as well! Hehe. So fun to do things together, specially something as a family, a close one.

Now I’m just slacking, responding to smses or any calls. Seems a few invitation were last min. Sorry >.< So excited, another 7 hours to go. Ho ho, oh yeah, mom gave me $50.00 to buy my cake. Means quite a lot to me =D Lets see what type of cake I’ll buy. Haha. Good luck to me!

- End of my birthday -
Woah! Out of my 19 years of living, this is the 1st time I’m having a party BBQ for my birthday! I’m so happy. Even though it wasn’t as expected, food wasn’t finish up (especially the curry chicken, wonder why nobody dared to touch it =.=). Had to bring back the stuffs, lucky dad car came and helped out. Really want to thank person D and K. He he, thanks for being so supportive and helped out a great deal in my birthday party =D Love you guys. Ah, VE rocks! You could say that this is the 1st time I feel like in a family. 1st time being paid attention. Phew, really cool.

About the presents. Ha ha. I’ve got quite a informative ones, as though sending a message to me or something. Just see the pics of the present I received and try to see what’s in common.

This is just the receipt i got from booking of the bit and the tiramisu cake =P

Present no.1 ... Nice wrapping and a letter. Very generous person.

o.0 it's colougne!

Ah, face wash and another colougne thingy.

Wow. I love this wrapping the most!

Cool, a koala piggy bank thingy =D

mmm. Cute black bunny sticky. Don't know is from where de, anime? Anyone can tell? Ha ha.

This had probably be the more "needed" gift. Lol, cause my previous wallet has worn out. Thanks guys.

Ah, from my unforgotten friends. Bought me a mirror. Cool, now i can style my hair without looking at my glass cupboard :)

Not to forget the big DIY box i receive as a whole for my birthday gift! Sorry too many stuffs, can't take those photos.

Ha ha, i was like sounding so fussy, later might get misconception wor. But important thing is that I received presents!!! Weee, so thanks for all those who spared a thought and some money to get me something nice or cards, really appreciate those wishes as well. Thanks for the DIY box again, and the stuffs inside. But I now want to diet then kana this box of goodies. Ha ha, maybe I’ll share with VE this coming practice. Sure die if I eat all of those alone.

I think the present I liked the most was from Nick & Joe. Was the most suitable for me, I guess Joe chose it right? Ha ha, he likes to do these kind of things. Oh, it was a FX wallet. Don’t know whether expensive or not. Important thing is that I needed that and some how it came to me as a birthday present. Thanks a lot =D

To those friends who didn’t come to the party, thanks for all your well wishes. Hope you could come and finished up the food though. A lot of leftovers. Lol. But I’m sure that you had something on and couldn’t make it, so it’s alright. I’m not that petty. Lol. Alright, better pack up the stuffs and get some rest. I need the energy for church as well. Ta ta

Signing out